Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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