My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
