Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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