This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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