its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
At least life still wants to fuck me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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