i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
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Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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