Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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