NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
