i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
