Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
