Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
