that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
