4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
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We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
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Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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