you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
