i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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