Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
