I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
