Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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