Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
