And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
