you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize