Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
jump out the window naked night went bad
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