Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
In America we eat man semen.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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