I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
