Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
