there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
