I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
