Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
This house was built for laser tag.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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