Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize