Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
