Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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