I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We need to get me chipped asap
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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