I CAN MOONWALK!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
