I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
