I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
