And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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