Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
