Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
