I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
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Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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