you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
