32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
