The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
