i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
