8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
