It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
two words: eviction party
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
