doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
