I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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