Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
