singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
