Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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