Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
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I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
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And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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