Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
