ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
