oh god the rape fog is back!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
