all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
