She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
