So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
