I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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