she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
