dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize