so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
