in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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