No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
