A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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