youre lurking in front of me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
