I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
