make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
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Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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