And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
