it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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